Tree-Hugging Dirt Worship

March 21, 2012

Supreme Creaming Barr in “Americans Elect” Delegates

Checking Out Americans Elect

Americans Elect is an organization that ditches the primary / caucusing nightmare in favor of secure Internet voting as a means for nominating a Presidential candidate. They are avowedly nonpartisan, but are seeking ballot access similar to that enjoyed by many of the parties. Americans Elect was founded and funded by managerial multimillionaires, and according to its bylaws the Board of Directors actually holds most of the control over the nominating process, thus rendering the Internet voting little more than a fraud! So, you know, I figure they deserve as much chance as the two major parties, since they’re pretty much all guilty of running the same type of scam…

I was intrigued by Americans Elect’s promise to match me with politicians who hold similar views, based on my answers to survey questions. First, I gave them basic info like my name and e-mail address. Then, they asked me creepy security questions, like “which of these corporations have you been associated with?” If they knew the answers, I assume that any data miner out there would know. Once I got into the matching process, I found myself craving for the “gold” merit badge, so to earn it I slogged through 200 grindingly similar survey questions.

They matched me with Ralph Nader as my top pick. Nader and I have pretty compatible views, I’ll grant, but he needs to stay out of electoral politics since being blamed for Bush’s win over Gore. Never mind that the Socialist candidate also got enough votes to tip the scales to Bush; never mind that Republican politicians dispatched thugs to stop vote counting with threats of violence in the Brooks Brothers Riot; never mind that five members of the Supreme Court committed treason with their indefensible and blatantly partisan ruling in Bush v Gore; everyone thinks that it was somehow Ralph Nader’s fault, so he needs to keep his talents directed elsewhere.

In second place was Rahm Emanuel! Emanuel is one of these sleazy characters who drifts between government and banking jobs, making millions through graft, inside information and usually fraud. While Emanuel was a director of Freddie Mac, the company was plagued with scandals. The entire B.o.D. earned remarks of censure from the Office of of Federal Housing Enterprise Oversight. The Obama Administration denied a FOIA request to open Freddie Mac’s books from Rahm’s time there (circa 2000), which comes as no surprise because Emanuel served as Obama’s Chief of Staff. Getting rid of banking corruption and government acquiescence is pretty close to my number-one issue, but it’s not an issue that registers with the Americans Elect algorithm. This is no political eHarmony, let me tell you.

The Presidential Contest that Really Matters

I was pleased this morning to visit Misinformed Citizen’s of America and find that Vermin Supreme is collecting Americans Elect delegates as a draft candidate (49 so far). With his platform of mandatory oral hygiene, a pony for every citizen and time travel research (to be used for killing baby Hitler), he is edging out lesser-known political figures like Jeb Bush and Paul Krugman (48 each), at least since I cast my vote this morning. Roseanne Barr, running also for the Green Party nomination, has collected only 25 “Americans Elect” delegates.

I want to see Supreme get at least 66 supporters on Americans Elect, which may be enough to put him ahead of Noam Chomsky (65 supporters). Noam Chomsky is no fun anymore, and he just keeps on framing American foreign policy in terms reflecting the Vietnam fiasco. Vermin Supreme, by contrast, glitterbombed Randall Terry. The future of everything hangs on Supreme vs. Chomsky as much as it hangs on the ultimate “winner” in the race for Chief Marionette. At least the minor characters have distinguishable platforms! Some of these people speak as their own thinking person, not as a mouthpiece for interest groups with bribes of campaign dollars and inside information. So how to weigh a choice between real people who can’t win, or trying to choose a winner from amongst self-lobotomized programmable sponsorship-seeking zombies? I’ll throw my lot in with human intelligence, thank you, and be defeated with enough integrity to be able to go on living. Someday, the people may even begin to win against the zombies — it’s normal to lose before you start winning, for what that’s worth.

But I have to tell you Green Party people, Roseanne Barr is a bit of a loose cannon. Doesn’t she know that she splits Vermin Supreme’s vote and risks ruining everything?

February 25, 2012

Candidate Promises Beheadings

Filed under: Soapbox — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , — paragardener @ 5:06 pm

February 28 is a voting day here in Michigan. Checking out my ballot on publius.org, I see I have the choice of Republicans for President, one person running for one school board position, and an up/down vote on later electing a committee to revise the Detroit City Charter (replace the old, broken charter with a new, broken charter?). I’m going to vote Ron Paul for President for the completely trivial reasons that he wants to stop waging imperial wars all over the planet, remove us from the grip of bank-created debt-based play money, and also to restore some semblance of civil liberties to the citizens. So, mentally file me under “naive first-time voter fooled by cynical false promise to legalize marijuana” while you fantasize that Obama is really going to show his true colors if given a second term. Whatever. The only choice on Tuesday is between Republicans, why not check the box that indicates “I enjoy my remaining degree of freedom”?

In the general election, there is more choice. Did you know that there is a Green Tea party? Its members include, and perhaps consist entirely of, Roseanne Barr, candidate for President of the United States and Prime Minister of Israel. She declared on Mother’s Day 2010, with this speech. She declares patriarchal politics obsolete and calls forth Divine Matriarchy, saying that “Patriarchy is impotent, and qualitatively unable to solve even the simplest problems in the Cosmos, such as picking up its own socks, or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking directly out of it.”

Her three-part plan:

1) Outlaw war, including the War on Drugs (legalize cannabis.)

2) More women in government. Government loans to poor women to start businesses.

3) Outlaw bullshit.

Part #3 turns out to involve some enforcement difficulties, but Barr is the tough lady we need to see this program through:

Barr is recognized as a Green Party candidate for President. Her campaign page is available here — as of writing time, there is a bizarre prayer against the warlord Kony splashed across the top, but there are some good essays and news bits farther down.

Back to Ron Paul — the practical person’s protest vote. Many are afraid that, if elected, Paul would allow for abortions to be all but banned and the South to become resegregated. You know what I’m afraid of? Ron Paul would be inaugurated promising great change, but then find it strangely difficult to implement basic executive perogatives, like shutting down Guantanamo Bay prison or calling Justice Department dogs off of the medical marijuana community. I mean, truly, look at the difference between what Obama promised and was able to achieve. Paul himself was politically unable, as a Representative, to cast a principled vote of “Nay” against the pointless, brutal, and illegal invasion of Afghanistan (his staff threatened to quit.) So, what would it matter if he were President? He’d simply become the prisoner-in-chief of a prison nation.

That’s why I favor the more ironical candidates.

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