Tree-Hugging Dirt Worship

February 25, 2012

Candidate Promises Beheadings

Filed under: Soapbox — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , — paragardener @ 5:06 pm

February 28 is a voting day here in Michigan. Checking out my ballot on publius.org, I see I have the choice of Republicans for President, one person running for one school board position, and an up/down vote on later electing a committee to revise the Detroit City Charter (replace the old, broken charter with a new, broken charter?). I’m going to vote Ron Paul for President for the completely trivial reasons that he wants to stop waging imperial wars all over the planet, remove us from the grip of bank-created debt-based play money, and also to restore some semblance of civil liberties to the citizens. So, mentally file me under “naive first-time voter fooled by cynical false promise to legalize marijuana” while you fantasize that Obama is really going to show his true colors if given a second term. Whatever. The only choice on Tuesday is between Republicans, why not check the box that indicates “I enjoy my remaining degree of freedom”?

In the general election, there is more choice. Did you know that there is a Green Tea party? Its members include, and perhaps consist entirely of, Roseanne Barr, candidate for President of the United States and Prime Minister of Israel. She declared on Mother’s Day 2010, with this speech. She declares patriarchal politics obsolete and calls forth Divine Matriarchy, saying that “Patriarchy is impotent, and qualitatively unable to solve even the simplest problems in the Cosmos, such as picking up its own socks, or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking directly out of it.”

Her three-part plan:

1) Outlaw war, including the War on Drugs (legalize cannabis.)

2) More women in government. Government loans to poor women to start businesses.

3) Outlaw bullshit.

Part #3 turns out to involve some enforcement difficulties, but Barr is the tough lady we need to see this program through:

Barr is recognized as a Green Party candidate for President. Her campaign page is available here — as of writing time, there is a bizarre prayer against the warlord Kony splashed across the top, but there are some good essays and news bits farther down.

Back to Ron Paul — the practical person’s protest vote. Many are afraid that, if elected, Paul would allow for abortions to be all but banned and the South to become resegregated. You know what I’m afraid of? Ron Paul would be inaugurated promising great change, but then find it strangely difficult to implement basic executive perogatives, like shutting down Guantanamo Bay prison or calling Justice Department dogs off of the medical marijuana community. I mean, truly, look at the difference between what Obama promised and was able to achieve. Paul himself was politically unable, as a Representative, to cast a principled vote of “Nay” against the pointless, brutal, and illegal invasion of Afghanistan (his staff threatened to quit.) So, what would it matter if he were President? He’d simply become the prisoner-in-chief of a prison nation.

That’s why I favor the more ironical candidates.

January 22, 2012

Finally, a Candidate worth Wasting my Vote on.

Filed under: Soapbox — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , — paragardener @ 7:08 pm

Lately I’ve been watching the cable news networks, thinking that a little passive absorption of infotainment would keep me informed in a very general way. Like, I hate it when I realize that everyone’s been talking about an earthquake or a hurricane or a war almost breaking out for the last week, and I was going about my life all oblivious.

When I tune in, though, it’s nothing but the Republican primaries over and over. “Romney said a jackass thing last night at a fundraiser. Gingrich piled onto Romney this morning with petulant comments. Whose advantage will it play to?” When I get into political discussions with friends lately, I tend to twist the topic into the race for Presidency. It goes against all evidence, which suggests one President is the same as the next (to do: start a war without Congress’s say-so, enhance police powers, grant Wall Street’s every whimsical request, rearrange the hoops educators must jump through to get Federal funding…).

It depresses me, to find myself pondering questions like: would I vote for Adolph Hitler or Ghengis Khan? Some pushy character would surely get in my face: “Every patriotic American must vote for Adolph Hitler — his record is slightly less violent than Ghengis Khan’s! If you don’t vote for Hitler, it’s like you’re giving up on democracy! How could you just throw away the precious, precious vote our forefathers fought and died for?”

What is the bare minimum of acceptability for a President? It’s unlikely that I’ll get a candidate who agrees with me on economic policy, imperial policy (aka foreign policy), gun control, abortion, marijuana, environmental protections, the best Federal holidays, etc, etc. I’m not looking for perfection here. I’m thinking: at the least, a President should not make problems worse for the country as a whole. Otherwise, voting for them is also making things worse.

Mainstream Republicans are right out for me, because they support imposing Christian laws on this land. They stand against everything that is right and good and cool about America.

If Ron Paul hangs in there, I might actually consider that guy. I’ve noticed that most of the attacks on him are actually attacks on the douchebag who wrote his newsletter, or some crazy supporter who supports the death penalty for gays, and this makes me think: Paul must be a really clean player and a gentleman if the media can’t really disparage him, himself. He actually stands up to banker central control of our economy. However, can he really cut $1 trillion from the budget and not hurt the rest of the economy? Would restoring Constitutional federalism have unacceptable side effects for women and minorities? I’ll have to consider those questions, if the dude can stay in the race long enough for me to get a vote on the matter.

Now Obama. Obama has supported an escalation of attacks on medical marijuana, started a foreign war, and bailed out the bankers ($10 trillion?) while offering us nothing but some coupons for energy efficient windows and a mandate to buy our own health insurance. He’s thoroughly demonstrated that he is worthless to the 99%. By turning a blind eye to Wall Street’s orgy of looting, Obama has shown that he is, in fact, bad for the country as a whole, and I would no more vote for him than Ghengis Khan.

I could abstain from voting. Since government has no respect for people’s rights, and government is selected by election, by voting I’m participating in the stripping of my fellow citizens’ rights. Unfortunately, non-voters are counted as “apathetic,” people so lazily squashed onto their couch that they could care less what is going on in the outside world. The solution is the protest vote – a vote wasted on someone who could never in a million years win. It counts as participation, without supporting the illusion that “we the people” actually want the leadership of either Hitler or Ghengis.

So, it looks like a vote for Vermin Supreme.

And remember- a vote for Vermin Supreme is a vote completely thrown away!

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