Tree-Hugging Dirt Worship

November 17, 2012

Honor Russell Means by Seceding

Filed under: Soapbox — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — paragardener @ 9:24 am

Russell MeansRussell Means was an Oglala Lakotah from the Black Hills of the land formerly known as South Dakota. He fought for his people, organizing the occupations of Alcatraz and Wounded Knee, running for the Libertarian presidential nomination in 1987 (he lost to Ron Paul by one vote), acting in Last of the Mohicans. His most exciting project was taken up in the last five years of his life: he led his people in seceding from the United States, with his group unilaterally withdrawing from all treaties.

The Republic of Lakotah of 60 million acres includes pieces of both Dakotas, Wyoming, Montana and Nebraska. It is completely sovereign from the United States, recognizing no claims. Means invited all people to come, who are ready to experience freedom and responsibility. The Republic is the Saudi Arabia of wind energy and a social experiment in stepping away from patriarchy towards the more organic matrilineal way of life. (It also includes very poor areas that require humanitarian relief.)

On October 22, Means died of cancer and is said to have returned to his ancestors like an arrow flying into the sun.

Means warned white people that we “don’t take freedom very seriously yet,” noting in 2009 that Posse Comitatus would be revoked under Obama (accomplished with 2012 NDAA.) “Welcome to the reservation,” said Means, referring to the entire United States becoming a sort of rambling concentration camp where people have no rights, wealth or opportunities. He just might have been pleased to see a movement in this country of people attempting to secede from the American Empire the on the State level.

Supposedly the petitions for secession are being circulated by bitter, anti-patriotic Obama-hating sore losers. The petition I signed quoted the Declaration of Independence, sort of the founding document of patriotism, and never mentioned Obama. It noted the right to overthrow a tyranny and informed the Federal government of Michigan’s peaceful withdrawal from said tyranny. I don’t see anything to object to there, unless perhaps you have some sort of faith-against-all-evidence that Uncle Sam is secretly not a tyrant.

The roads, fire and police departments, schools, 911 service, and most of the parks in Michigan are operated at the State or local level. At the Federal level, we support wars of aggression, a police state which spies on us constantly, a pretty good weather service, and some of our money is redistributed to pay for welfare projects in “Red” states. To withdraw support from the Federal government, with its insane doctrine that even what you put in your own mouth can be regulated as interstate commerce, with its stated right to rub people off the face of the Earth, is eminently sane and pacific.

If you don’t want any part in the murder of Pashtuns, Persians and Arabs, or if you just want to decide what you can put in your own mouth, welcome to the revolution, comrade. The White House accepts petitions here.

The white peoples’ traditions of kitchen gardening, pickling, booze-making, bad folk music, backyard burial, herbal medicine and lifelong monogamy are in danger quite as much as the Lakotah language. It would be nice if we would take our freedom seriously.


July 16, 2012

Naked Face-Chewing Bath Salt Zombie Crime Wave?

Filed under: Soapbox — Tags: , , , , , , — paragardener @ 4:59 pm

Within hours of Rudy Eugene chewing the face off of Ronald Poppo, members of the news media were speculating about imminent zombie apocalypse and blaming the incident on “bath salts,” a marketing term for mephedrone and mixtures thereof. By July 5, David Edwards wrote a piece for Raw Story about a nationwide naked crime wave, in which bath salts are “suspected.” Suspected by who, exactly? This story smells… cooked up.

Some police suspect bath salts behind every sort of deranged behavior. Phoenix Police Sgt. Eric Wyckoff notes that “I wouldn’t approach naked people running around the streets of Phoenix,” which is sad, because I like to approach the naked and deranged and have some fun with them.

“Did you forget something back at the house?” I’ll ask. “Nice cool breeze, don’t you think?”

Sgt. Wyckoff continued, “Generally speaking, if you run into a naked man out here, we found there’s usually some kind of illicit narcotic on board.” This raises questions for me. Weren’t there insane people who wandered about naked before we had today’s great variety of drugs available? If we pulled people off the street at random and drug tested them, wouldn’t we find a great number of otherwise normal people with illicit narcotics on board? I can certainly imagine someone having a psychotic reaction to their drug of choice, and getting publicly naked in the confusion. But I don’t trust that the relationship between illicit drugs and naked crime is all that tight. Could someone show me some numbers?

David Edwards’ piece goes on to link to various naked crime stories. In one case, a Texas mom crashed her car, left it there with three children inside, and wandered to the drug store where she proceeded to strip naked and eat ice cream. The bath salt connection? From Reuters: “Some online commentators are also speculating about the possible use of drugs like bath salts, which can raise a person’s body temperature.”

A Florida woman stood in the intersection, rather forcefully flashing passing drivers with each of her naughty bits until sheriffs arrived to take her in. The bath salt connection? At least David Edwards suspects that she may have been high on bath salts.

Hysterical mugshot.

Broward Sheriff’s Dep’t.

In Georgia, a half-naked man was arrested for disorderly conduct on a golf course. He admitted to being high on bath salts and threatened to eat the faces of the arresting officers. Do bath salts lead directly to the urge to get naked and eat faces? Or did Karl Laventure get himself deranged with the original Miami zombie attack influencing his expectations?

There is no reason to fear that bath salts lead straight to naked face-chewing. We now have toxicology reports from the Miami-Dade medical examiner, who found nothing remarkable in Rudy Eugene’s system. The original naked face-chewing bath salt zombie attack was not caused by bath salts. For some reason, everyone just assumed that it was. “Oh, this is odd. It must be connected to that scary new drug.”

A June 14 story in “Hollywood Life” makes flat and unsupported statements that a woman who attacked her own son and dog on a violent and nude rampage was high on bath salts. Since the story also cited Rudy Eugene as a bath salt user, I see no reason to treat the story as credible. Rampager Pamela McCarthy was tased to death by responding police. How convenient for them if she were a nearly invincible yet mindless zombie attacker, and therefor had to be taken down at any cost.

Connecting bath salts to a naked crime wave is a pretty fine drug scare. It is reminiscent of vintage drug scares like Old South cocaine (making black men into superhuman rapists), or Reefer Madness-era marijuana (giving fine upstanding youths uncontrollable violent impulses). Yet, there is a note of ghetto-terror PCP (its ability to cause utter, violent confusion and immunize one against pain), with even a whiff of the club drug scene from our latest round of being frightened about MDMA. This is the most complex, fullest-bodied drug scare we’ve enjoyed in a long, long time!

You can’t have a drug scare without doctors getting their two cents out. So, addiction specialist Dr. Ravi Chandiramani captures the richness of the bath salt scare in one line: “It’s different than anything else we typically encounter because it’s almost like having cocaine, ecstacy, LSD or acid and amphetamine in one substance.”

Bath salts are a capitalistic, loophole-finding, make-money-first-and-ask-questions-later way to skirt around drug prohibition (don’t sell drugs as drugs. don’t even label them.) You could grouse about corporations being more socially responsible but it’s a little late for that. The other problem is that people need to have better ways of getting drugs! In the meantime, don’t trust what you hear about bath salts and don’t panic about naked zombie attackers.


July 14, 2011

Outlaw gardens

Filed under: gardening, Soapbox — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — paragardener @ 3:22 am

When I think of outlaw gardens, I usually think of the major medicinal plants: coca (cocaine, the prototype local anaesthetic), opium poppy (the prototype painkiller and cough suppressant), marijuana (still underutilized), or magical cacti and mushrooms. But a garden doesn’t require any mind-blowing substances to drive local bureaucrats into a psychotic abyss.

Julie Bass appears to be a Normal Suburban Mom, but she’s one bad motherfucker in the eyes of the City of Oak Park, Michigan. She crossed a line you see: in the Code of Ordinances, Appendix A, Article XVII, Section 1716.A.5, it clearly states: “All unpaved portions of [any] site shall be planted with grass ground cover, shrubbery, or other suitable live plant material.” But Julie planted a vegetable garden in the front, which at least one neighbor found unsuitable. The city told Julie to rip out her organic bounty and sow Chemlawn-perfect grass like a good suburbanite, but the bitch won’t back down!  She’s dragging the City into a jury trial, and facing up to 93 days in jail if she loses.

I like how City Planner Kevin Rulkowski bizarrely defines “suitable” as “common.” Were there some hallucinogenic morning glory seeds in his coffee, or is he intentionally making things up? Just who do these guys think they are to say which plants can go where? When the usual food imports are disrupted by declining oil production, climate change  or currency collapse, the city officials who now persecute Ms. Bass will be begging her for help to keep their citizens fed. For now, the officials float in a denial narcosis, believing that they can impose arbitrary concepts of normalcy on their little suburban bubble indefinitely into a Jetsons-inspired future.

Growing your own food and medicine is a basic human right — if you can’t do it for yourself, you must depend upon “the global economy” for everything you consume. In such a way everything you need to exist is a commercial transaction, and subject to controls like taxation, “safety” regulations and monopoly power — in other words, governments and corporate cartels decide what you can eat or medicate with. In fact, part of Ms. Bass’s motivation for gardening was to glean some organic food she otherwise couldn’t so easily afford.

Besides the issues of human rights or property rights, Ms. Bass’s case rattled my cage in the sense of: “Oh my Goddess! We’re living in a cage!” Julie consulted the city planner and was left believing she was a little bit free, to grow some vegetable boxes in the front lawn and share something a little bit different with the neighborhood kids. But when she used that freedom: POW!  She’s threatened with being taken from her kids for three months. You don’t know you’re living in a cell until you hear someone stumble into the bars.

It’s exhausting to ponder the degrees of unfreedom we live under. But, Julie Bass’s stand may open things up a crack. Check out her blog, Oak Park Hates Veggies. Take note of the Useful Links sidebar on the right, ’cause that is where you can take action to support this brave lady.

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